Walk of Shame

Tomorrow, i’m afraid, i’ll be giving up.

I’d been keeping my pathetic hope alive today that I might still not waste a winter’s training by being able to bury myself to get the marathon out of the way. Well, “out of the way” it certainly won’t be.

There’s simply no way i’m going to be able to place one foot in front of another for 26.2 miles next week, no matter how many drugs I might consider taking to get me there. My attempt at a run this evening had almost stopped before it started, but not wanting to accept that the pain was real, I carried on for a few hundred yards before giving up and coming home. Why does a calf muscle tear on a training run so close to race day when it’s done so well up until then?

Bastard.

I’m gutted. Fit Artist has shown me the way to do it. Good luck to her especially. As will several thousand others, all of whom seem to be capable of not cocking things up. Even Peter fucking Andre is going to prove he’s better than me. My God, i’m going to have to cut off my testicles in shame. Being beaten by an antipodean, coiffured, pop prancing twat just because my leg’s weaker than his hair gel. The shame.

Still, as I stroll to the post office to post my “sorry i’m a fuckwit, but i’d like to defer until next year and hopefully be more capable then” form, i’ll be planning my races for the year. I just hope I can get some sort of running ability for the 17th May and the Stelling Minnis 10k, my favourite ever ever ever race, but judging the speed of recovery, i’m doubting it. I’d settle for a 50 minute jog just to be able to get there.

Damn. Cock. And balls.

At least my blog name doesn’t refer to running; I think i’ll start to list things instead. How about times i’ll want to rip my leg off over the next week in jealousy at everyone who can run? That’ll be a long one to kick things off…

One mince pie. 12.5mm rain. One despondent individual not going to be running the FLM ever. Hope Virgin don’t fuck up next year and the run still goes on…And the weather had better be fair next week – I feel a day’s skydiving coming on to take my mind off things. I’ve not jumped for fear of damaging the leg further on landing, but a good blast of adrenaline may just take my mind off what i’m missing.

Heaven’s above, the timing of my fantastic girlfriend’s move away from London was even planned around a convenient base for my run. Still, at least she’ll be here shortly. The year might not be a write off after all.

And I guess i’m guaranteed not to put on any weight for a year at least!

I’m so depressed, I don’t even fancy a drink. Poo.

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7 responses to “Walk of Shame

  1. Two years ago my sister did exactly the same thing (different race though as she lives in Canada). She had been religiously following a traing schedule and everything was going very well until just before race day she went out for an easy paced little run and snap! her calf muscle went. No reason, she had done everything right, but it just happened.

    These things do happen and you should not beat yourself up about it. You achieved a lot in your training and you must remember that rather than the back handed slap across the face that fate has dealt you.

    Your winter training has not been wasted. Think of it as a base for the rest of the year. Do an autumn marathon. if you want a big race think of Chicago or New York. There will be glory enough there.

    Anyway the other things happen in your life seem much more important. There are always other races but there is only one Jogblog.

  2. Thanks, HK. Correct about JB, i’ll continue to count my blessings.

  3. That’s a real shame that you can’t do London. But Highway Kind is right – don’t beat yourself up about it – you were putting in a good amount of training and something like NY at the end of the year would give you another goal to aim for. Maybe London was just not to be for now.
    Do a skydive, eat some mince pies and we’ll all sit there come race day willing Mr Andre to give up at mile 5 due to a really bad stitch.

  4. As always, sage words from HK; you’ll be back with a vengeance…it’s just difficult to see that right now. In the meantime do all the right stuff to make a full recovery.

  5. That’s such a shame – sorry to hear. I reckon the skydive is just what you need right now – go on, book it! You deserve it!

  6. So sorry to hear you won’t be able to make it.

    Time to rest and recuperate – you’ll come back stronger than before and with even better motivation to keep you going through the training months. It just wasn’t meant to be this year. 😦

  7. I feel really sad to read this, knowing how much it means to you, but you can’t risk putting yourself out for the long term. As the others have said, an autumn marathon would be great, I’ve heard Dublin is rather lovely at that time of year 🙂 And just think, when everyone else is checking their bank accounts, frantically trying to find out if they have ‘got in’, you will be able to sit back and enjoy the long lead up to your big day next April.

    (I could have done it last year, by the way, but deferred for various reasons and I’m glad I did)

    Enjoy your big move-in, life can only get better and better x

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